What defines your ideal space?

Since my arrival back from France, I couldn’t seem to switch my ‘out of office’ mode off.  The unforeseen weather spell wasn’t helping as I got lost in the momentum of unpacking and reorganising, easing myself back into routine before the month of July closed in on me.  Now halfway through august, I’m still finding drafts of an overdue blog abandoned on my desk. 

I was feeling content, happy to be back in my own space and really appreciating my home for what felt like the first time in ages.  As I caught up with friends and family enquiring about our break away, it got me thinking about holidays in general and how for many of us, this summer would be our first trip overseas in almost two years.  Apart from the mounting excitement, the air of expectation must surely supersede that of previous getaways.

So what is it that defines a holiday exactly and what do we seek when planning that much anticipated, ideal summer break?  I’m sure my check- list is no different to any other including that of destination, cultural/other experience, a change in temperature or all of the above in varying order. If you’re footloose and fancy free, then the world really is your oyster, but planning to others’ needs including your own is a game changer.  Having to meet with the variables of your fellow travellers or dependents and your options (along with your dreams) quickly become diminished with the added constraints of a school timetable.

With the ‘not so great’ holiday experiences slowly adding up, I decided that a different perspective was required this year to ensure that holiday ‘feeling’, which had so far eluded me endured. And so the line ‘vacating your life’ came to mind (from a feelgood Christmas movie entitled ‘The Holiday’). No doubt ‘a change is as good as rest’ also stems from this idea of breaking with routine so armed with this first hint, I decided that further reflection and a little more honesty was needed to discover what I had been missing.

It emerged that by retaining boxes I thought required ticking (mostly to satisfy my visual senses) I was clinging to the travel aspirations of a previous life and to my idea of what I thought constituted the perfect holiday.  In refusing to bend to the practicalities of my changed circumstances since becoming a parent, I was placing emphasis on transient moments only to arrive home stressed and exhausted in pursuit of these.  I was seeking a ‘feeling’ yet completely missing the essentials that needed prioritising and the senses that necessitated satiating, in order to attain that.  It materialised that I was missing out in those ‘moments of joy’ that capture any enduring emotion of a person, time or place.  Ironically, I was completely overlooking the fundamentals and values I bring to my own design practice when planning our annual holiday in pursuit of this ideal.

By paring back to the essentials of our family’s needs, I found that fresh perspective and enduring holiday feeling this year.  When the offer came to co-holiday with my sister and nephew in France this summer, I looked no further.  Accepting that no amount of coercion would entice my daughter to visit an art gallery over a splash in the pool and acknowledging that sight-seeing would potentially constitute flash imagery from a car window was suddenly liberating.  As with previous years ‘prendre un café and ‘prendre un verre’ still remained completely aspirational!  Destination, star-rating and accommodation no longer required the due consideration of previous years.

In recognising my basics, it turns out that I too shared the same essential needs as my daughter in wanting to be within close proximity to water, but of a different kind. So this is how I got to swim, cool down, cool off, read, listen to a different spoken word and drink aperitif from the above secluded bay for most of our vacance.  By appealing to my every sense, everything else seemed surplus to requirements as I started to slow down, immerse myself and switch off.

When it comes to creating a home, we can fall into a similar trap of becoming absorbed with our idea of what perfection looks like, thinking of how we should live opposed to how we wish to live.  With social media inundating us with beautiful #Slim Aarons styled imagery of ‘attractive people doing attractive things in attractive places’ it’s little wonder that our expectations are always set on high.

By looking inwards and acknowledging our daily needs more honestly, we start to pare back to the essentials that come with creating an authentic space opposed to a mirrored version of an empty ideal,finding our own perfect.

Next year’s holiday will bring about a new set of variables and constraints to consider but am now better prepared to manage these when the time comes.  Adventures in the Nordic plains may still be on hold but as I finally switch my work mode back on, I’m feeling optimistic about our next escape in pursuit of the almost, perfect holiday.

What feeling do you seek to capture in your space? 

What constraints are you finding difficult to manage? 

What are the variables in need of consideration? 

Where do you struggle when planning your perfect project?